The Denial of St. Peter During the Passion

In the early 1930s an excellent book was written by Archbishop Alban Goodier, S.J. titled "The Passion and Death of Our Lord Jesus Christ". This unique book covers the time period from the eve of the passion until Our Lord was sealed in the tomb. It manages to do so in 424 pages surrounding citations from the scriptures with detailed explanations using not only historical facts, but further attempting as far as possible to describe the Passion as it really took place in the minds and hearts of those who went through it, especially of Him who was the Central Figure. The author has apparently meditated well on the subject matter and given us the fruits of his meditations for us to use further in ours.
Although this book is out of print, it is expected that such a classic may soon be available again. We hope that this short excerpt [pp. 209 to 221] may help towards this end, and encourage people, at least, to seek the book at a local library to enjoy and profit from.

20. The Denial of Peter.

But gross injustice and indignity from those who hated Him was not the only suffering that Jesus Christ Our Lord had to endure in the house of Caiphas that night. Though all His disciples had fled away from Him at the garden gate, still it was no wonder that some of them at least could not leave Him altogether alone. Their thoughts could not but follow Him through the night. They sought to learn how He fared ; they hoped against hope that when the trial came He would vindicate Himself as He had often done of old ; that in their council chamber He would put to shame the men who sought His ruin, as He had put them to shame in the Temple court. Simon Peter especially, the daring one among them, even while also on occasion the most timid, could not resist the fascination. He had fled with the rest, after it was clear that Jesus refused to be defended ; perhaps more frightened than the rest, seeing that he had been rebuked for his deed of daring. But he had not fled far. He had hidden himself in the darkness close by ; he had stopped to see what would happen. The procession had begun its march back to the city and he had followed after ; in such a turmoil concealment was easy. On the way he had met with another follower of Jesus, one who was known in Jerusalem, who was familiar even with Caiphas and his court. Together they came to the house of Caiphas ; at the gate a guard was kept, the usual guard who admitted only those who for any reason had a right to claim access. Peter's companion was one of those ; when Jesus was brought in he was able to enter with the rest. Peter had no passport ; he was compelled to wait among the crowd outside.
But his companion was able to use influence. He could not hide the fact that Simon Peter was a Galilean still he could claim him as an acquaintance of his own, a man from the country, come up for the Paschal festival, a harmless individual, only interested in the fate of his fellow Galilean, and likely to do harm to no one. With arguments such as these he persuaded the portress at a side entrance, and Simon Peter was admitted. The woman eyed him as he entered ; Simon's tongue was active while he passed through the doorway, and she was quick to detect his Galilean dialect. She noticed, too, a certain eagerness, a certain anxiety, about Simon, which told her at once that his coming in was not due to curiosity alone. As he turned his back upon her she smiled to herself in contempt ; what she had observed about Simon might be useful later on.
It was cold in Jerusalem that night. If we except the two storms on the lake of Galilee, this is perhaps the only place in the Gospels where we are actually told the condition of the weather. We are told that it was cold, yet it was the month of April, and April in Palestine is not usually cold. But in the East the hottest days may have very cold nights, especially in high or dry districts ; as soon as the sun goes down the temperature falls suddenly, and a cold wind will begin to blow. So was it that night. It had been a warm day ; earlier in the night, in the Garden of Gethsemane, which was down in the valley and sheltered, there had been no inconvenience from the cold. But here up in the city, on its high plateau, the attendants in their light garments, standing about the flagged courtyard, felt the change of temperature more keenly. They had therefore done according to their custom on such nights ; a fire was lit in the middle of the courtyard, and the men were squatting round it, careless of all that was going on in the open court beyond, content that something had brought them together.
In the midst of this careless group Simon Peter gradually found a place. No sooner had he gained admission at the door than all his courage left him, as it had left him that night in Galilee, when, at his Master's bidding, he had stepped out boldly on the waves. But this time, on these troubled waters, there was no Master present to whom he could appeal ; there was no ship behind him to which he might retreat. He had entered the courtyard with his usual impetuosity ; now as he stood there he was terribly alone. To find some companionship he mingled with the rest; he sat down with them by the fire and warmed himself, doing as they did, choosing a place from which he could observe what went on in the court beyond. There was no one there who knew him, no one would care about him; the more he stayed with the crowd the safer he would be.
But he had miscalculated. Besides the men hanging round the fire there were others passing to and fro, some sauntering from one group to another, others serving the soldiers with liquor or whatever they might need. Among these was the servant-maid who had admitted Peter at the gate. She chanced to pass by the fire ; the light was shining full on Peter's face. She recognized the Galilean ; she detected the fear in his face, seeking to hide itself beneath a show of swagger and bravado ; it was a sight that provoked the woman in her to taunt him. Besides, if she told what she had discovered about him, it would cause ribald laughter from those about the fire ; and that was a pleasure too good to be resisted. She stopped in front of him, the fire between them ; she looked on him with a contempt that made him shrink before her. She pointed at him with her finger; presently, in a shrill, hard voice, which none could fail to hear, she said :

'Thou also wast with Jesus of Nazareth
The Galilean.'

With her finger still pointing at him, she turned to those about her and went on :

'This man also was with him.'

Then, again looking at him, she challenged him :

'Art not thou also
One of this man's disciples ?

It was indeed a trying moment for Simon Peter :

'Thou art Simon
Thou shalt be called the Rock.'
'Thou art Peter
And upon this rock
I will build my church
And the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.'

After such promises as these could it be that Simon should fail. his Lord, or that his Lord should fail him ? If the gates of hell should not prevail against Him, could he be beaten by a girl keeper of the gate of Caiphas ? Simon, chosen from the beginning, assured that one day he would be made a great fisher of men, the first among the Twelve, who had worked miracles in the name of Jesus, who had cast out devils in His name, who had walked on the waters of the lake and had not sunk, whose very ship had been singled out from among the rest, for from it Jesus had preached, from it He had commanded the draught of fishes, in it He had slept, that night when they had come to Him and He had calmed the storm-after all this could Simon waver now ? Or again, in the past had he not played his part well, and had not his Master praised and rewarded him for the way he had played it ? He had been welcomed at the Jordan and had made one of the company. By his home on the lake-side at Bethsaida he had been called and had followed promptly, leaving his ship and his nets ; and the Lord had expressly told him that for that surrender he would one day sit upon a throne, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. One day, when all others were deserting, he had stood by his Master and said :

'Lord
To whom shall we go ?
Thou hast the words of eternal life.'

On another day, when Jesus had chosen to put them to the test, he had proclaimed before them all :

'Thou art the Christ
The Son of the Living God',

and had been blessed above all the rest for his confession. In proof of his election he had been taken by the Master into the holy mountain, there to see and hear what it was not given to others to see and hear. He had been taken aside and had witnessed miracles which not even all the Twelve had been permitted to witness. Nay, this very night, in presence of them all, Jesus had chosen him out from all the rest for special care, had told him of coming temptation, had assured him of His prayers, had bidden him after his ordeal to strengthen the others :

'Simon, Simon
Behold Satan hath desired to have you
That he may sift you as wheat
But I have prayed for thee
That thy faith fail not
And thou being once converted
Confirm thy brethren.'

After all this, how could it be that in a moment like this he should fail ?
Recollections such as these galloped through Simon's brain as he listened to the woman's taunt and challenge. Beyond her in the court he could see his Master, where he stood before His judges, His hands bound behind Him, no longer able to lift His trembling disciple up as he sank beneath the wave. He could hear the witnesses pour out their false charges ; yet Jesus no longer looked about Him and asked :

'Will you also go away ?

There was no voice now from heaven which proclaimed him :

'This is my beloved Son
In whom I am well pleased.'

He who had spoken 'with authority and not as the scribes' was now dumb; He whom no man could accuse of sin was now a criminal on His trial; He who had challenged and defied all the world was now the world's helpless victim. His thoughts went back to that day in Capharnaum when He had warned the Master to be more careful, and not to exasperate these men in power who were plotting even then to have His life. If only Jesus had listened to him, and had taken his advice, perhaps these things would not have happened. But now what could he do ? He could draw no sword to defend Him ; not even any word of his could be of any avail. The doom had come upon them all ; in less than an hour the hopes of years had come to nought. Was it then all a failure? The kingdom, the banquet in the kingdom, the thrones and high places from which they were to judge the tribes of Israel, the hundredfold in this world, the life eternal, were they all castles in the air? What was secure' what could be believed? Where was the rock immovable, against which not even the gates of hell were to prevail, on which all was to be built ?
So, far more quickly than they can be told, did the doubts and questions rise and fall, chasing each other in Simon's fevered soul, like the waves on the tossed waters that stormy night when he had walked on them alone. 'Meanwhile the woman's words were ringing in his ears ; their sting was piercing his heart. 'Nazarene', 'Galilean', 'One of them' ; at one time he had thought he would never have heeded, now they made him wish the earth would open and swallow him up. Leering eyes were turned upon him; jeers were on the tip of every tongue ; what good could Simon do, to himself, to his Master, to anyone, by standing up now in His defence, even by acknowledging the truth about himself? There were two men suddenly struggling within him. There was the Simon that still loved, that still believed though the clouds had gathered round and all was black, that still pleaded to him to be true ; and there was that other Simon, impetuous in word and act, brave to dare yet fearful in a crisis, overawed by the opinions and conventions of men. The first Simon bade him at least say nothing, to leave this place of danger ; the second Simon wavered, argued with himself, begged that he would be a man among men. And the second Simon won. The woman had asked :

'Art not thou also one of this man's disciples ?'

As soon as he could gain his speech, not allowing himself time for reflection, the fatal answer came :

'But he denied before them all saying :
Woman
I am not.'

Having once denied, the rest was easy ; it is the first step in evil-doing that is hard. He could now emphasize what he had said ; indeed what else could he now do ? Was he one of this Man's disciples ? He did not even know Him :

'Woman
I am not
I know him not
I neither know nor understand what thou sayest.'

Was the voice his own that spoke ? Were the words he heard words coming from his own mouth ? Simon listened to himself and wondered what he had said. He had spoken to avoid the shame of men whom he might well have despised ; he incurred his own shame, he could not endure the thought of himself. He had been ashamed and humbled before, but this was something altogether new ; a sense of unfitness for the company of men, a clammy sense of foulness, a craving to hide himself away from the sight of men, even of such men as these about him. He rose from the fire and went away. He passed out by a gate into the garden, into the night, that he might get alone. As he walked aimlessly to and fro the sound of a cock-crow broke on his car, a common thing at night in the East. He had heard it often in the night before, in his own country-side in Galilee, and it need have meant nothing to him. But this night it seemed to catch his ear ; it seemed to bring some recollection to his mind . It sounded like a note of warning, bidding him beware lest worse things befall him. That he should be troubled by a trifle annoyed him. Anything annoyed him at that moment, and he was in no mood to be annoyed, To stifle his annoyance he went back into the noise of the court.
Scarcely had he done so than he was again accosted. He had put himself apart ; his coming in from the garden alone drew the gaze of a group standing by upon him. They had been speaking of this Jesus and His followers ; they had abused the first, it was natural to abuse the others. Suddenly Simon came upon them, out of the darkness. Another serving woman looked at him. She told herself she had seen that man before. She remembered ; she had seen him once upon a time with Jesus of Nazareth. She cared little what she said ; she spoke before them all the thought that was passing through her mind :

'And again another maidservant saw him
And she began to say to the standers-by :
This is one of them
This man also was with Jesus of Nazareth.'

Then, encouraged, with a look of scorn she turned upon him :

'Thou also art one of them.'

By this time Simon's defences were all broken down. He had uttered a denial once ; to repeat it was no hard thing. The voice of conscience was now but dimly heard ; the warnings that before had rushed through his soul were all gone, or else were so confused that they meant almost nothing. He had betrayed himself once ; it mattered little now what he said or did. Not waiting a moment to weigh his words, caring nothing whether they were true or not, catching up the ribald language of the men about him, he answered them after their own manner. He avoided the gaze of the woman ; he spoke to a man in the group ; surely after this, he seemed to say, he would be left alone.

'And again he denied with an oath :
O man I am not
I do not know the man.'

For a time Simon was not troubled any more. He turned away from his accusers, and lost himself in the crowd that filled the hall. He had said that he was not ' one of them ', he had said that he did not ' know the man '. There in the court beyond him, within sight and hearing, 'the Man' whom he 'did not know' was still undergoing His ordeal, and Simon had come in expressly that he might 'see the end'. But now he scarcely dared to allow his eyes to wander towards Him. Instead he would try to forget Him; He would try to forget himself. He would mingle with the rest and would be one of them. He would do anything to escape the sense of guilt that spread over him as very slime. By noise, and garrulity, and boasting, he would lay the specter that now pursued him whichever way he turned.
For an hour or more Simon went among the crowd, careless as any one of them without, trembling and wretched within as any beaten creature. Meanwhile in the upper court the trial went on, and now was drawing to an end. He heard the evidence of the witnesses, and he knew the reply that could be made to each ; but he could not speak, his tongue was tied, he did not wish even to listen. At length, at a solemn moment, he saw the high priest stand up. The hall became deadly silent ; he heard the terrible question :

'I adjure thee
By the living God
That thou tell us
If thou be the Christ
The Son of the blessed God.'

The words were an echo of Simon's own confession long ago. He heard the answer to that question, yet more clear than ever he had heard it before, spoken with yet more authority :

'Thou hast said it
I am.'

Strive as he might, in that awful silence, Simon could not forget the question that had been put to him hard by Caesarea Philippi :

'Whom do you say that I am ?'

still less his own spontaneous answer :

'Thou art the Christ
The son of the living God.'

He recalled the reward he had received for that declaration he had been made Peter, the Rock, against which nothing should prevail. Till that night he had lived in the glow of that promise. He had heard his own words confirmed on the mountain :

'This is my beloved son
In whom I am well pleased',

and had cried out, in an ecstasy of joy, that it was good to be there. He had discussed since then with his companions, again and again, when at length the kingdom would be founded ; that very night they had hoped it would have begun.
For a moment that hope came back to him ; would Jesus seize this occasion ? Would He be surrounded with the clouds of heaven, as He had foretold? Would the legions of angels come to His rescue ? Never before had He permitted Himself so to fall into the hands of His enemies ; now that He had asserted His claim, in words that not even Simon had ever heard before, could He suffer Himself to be beaten and put to shame ? Simon stood there in suspense, expecting he knew not what ; if the earth had opened beneath them and swallowed them all up, himself included, if the hall had fallen down upon them, if an angel with a sword of fire had come down to vindicate the honor of the Son of God, he would not have been surprised. And yet how differently did the wheel turn ! No angel came to help his Master, no voice was heard from heaven to glorify His name ; instead the high priest, with all the dignity of his office, pronounced Jesus Christ a blasphemer, and the wrath of hell was let loose upon Him. It grew from worse, to worse. Simon watched the ribald crowd, one by one, come up to his Master and strike Him ; he watched them spit in His face ; he watched them as they put a rag about His eyes, he heard them bid Him prophesy. He was paralyzed with horror ; he could not move. He remembered now the prophecies that all this would be, prophecies which he had always refused to believe, which more than once he had contradicted. He had come ' to see the end ' ; it indeed seemed to be the end of everything for Simon ; faith and love, and hope-what of them had he left in his poor, laden heart?
Presently the court began to move. It was now far into the night ; the sentence, or what would stand for a sentence, had been pronounced ; the prisoner was 'guilty of death ', and it remained only to wait till morning to put the sentence into execution. They dared not do that themselves ; for it the permit of the Roman governor was needed. They must put their prisoner in gaol till dawn, and then their demand for His blood would be satisfied. A procession began to be formed ; as it passed down through the courtyard it threatened to come near to Simon. Simon pressed back into the crowd ; He would not be seen ; now with far greater reason might he have uttered that prayer of his earliest days :

'Depart from me
For I am a sinful man
O Lord.'

But his movements attracted attention. That while all the rest pressed forward one should press backward could not but be noticed. His neighbors looked at him ; they noticed the fear in his eyes, that harmonized ill with the affected bravado in his manner. They heard his speech, and his accent was not that of Judea. It was that of the North ; it was that of the Galilean himself; little provocation was needed to make this mob turn upon any Galilean. One of the crowd framed the charge, as one in a crowd will ; the rest took it up, careless whether it were true or false, so long as it gave an opportunity for baiting :

'Surely thou also art one of them
For even thy speech doth discover thee
Thou also art a Galilean.'

Had the mocking accusation ended there Simon might yet have escaped. But no such fortune was to befall him. The mockery attracted the attention of one who had been with the captors of Jesus that night at the garden gate. He had some rank among his fellows, for he held an office in the high priest's household. Moreover he was something of a hero among them, for he could boast of being a kinsman of the man who had been wantonly injured by one of Jesus' company. This man now looked at Simon ; he thought he recognized his face. In the light of the lanterns on the hill-side impressions were doubtful, on the other hand Simon's were features that were not easily forgotten. The mob was hooting ; he would join his witness with the rest :

'Did not I see thee, he said
In the garden
With him?'

It was a charge which Simon was unable to escape. The hounds were upon him and he was at bay ; they were hot with triumph over their first victim, they would not scruple now about a second. Simon was compelled to act at once ; if he would save himself he must not hesitate. By now he had got used to denial, to add a third to the two before was now an easy matter. Moreover through the night he had listened to the language of blasphemers ; now that same language came from his own mouth easily enough. He cursed as they cursed ; he swore as they swore ; he would swagger and be brave as the rest of them, as is the manner of a coward. And his courage found expression. Scarcely thinking what he said, he added to his oaths :

'Man
I know not what thou sayest
I know not this man of whom you speak.'

And some approved him for a brave fellow, and some claimed him as one of themselves ; and all in their hearts were convinced that he lied and despised him.
But for Simon himself, the words had not escaped his lips when he heard from the yard outside the crowing of a cock. He had heard it before during that night, but it had only confused his thoughts ; now he heard it, and at once the memory of what his Lord had said came back to him :

'Amen I say to thee
To-day even this night
Before the cock crow twice
Thou shalt deny me thrice.'

Worse still, as he stood there paralyzed, the procession that was bearing Jesus away passed him by :

'And the Lord turning
Looked on Peter.'

Jesus turned aside and looked at Peter. Their eyes met and they knew each other ; and they knew each other as friends. Then Jesus had heard what Simon Peter had said ; He had heard it and yet had not forsaken or abandoned him. It was the same look, however saddened by this last experience, which He had always bestowed upon him ; on that first day by the Jordan when Simon had come to judge of this new Prophet and had been conquered ; by the lake when he had been called, and without a word had followed ; in the boat when the draught of fishes had been given him, and he had pleaded to his Lord to leave him ; on the lake that night when Jesus had bid him come to Him across the water ; in the synagogue at Capharnaum, when men deserted Him, and Simon had said they would not go away ; by Caesarea when He had asked Simon for his confession and he had made it ; on the mountain when Simon had been frightened, and Jesus had leaned down and touched him and all had been well ; on the roadside in Judea, when He had taught him lessons of humility, and forgiveness, and prayer ; that very night in the supper room, when He had given Simon his last warning and had assured him of His prayers ; in the garden, when in distress He had come and pleaded to him to watch and pray with Him ; at the garden gate when He had bid him put up his sword, and then had secured that he should go away free. It all came back on Peter now. Jesus had always been the same, in praise or in blame, in success or failure ; He was the same now, even under this ordeal. Had Simon lost his faith in Jesus ? This only he now knew; in spite of what he had done Jesus had not lost His faith in Simon. He still would trust him ; He still would love him ; Simon was still His own; all this was shown to Simon in that single look:

'And the Lord turning
Looked on Peter
And Peter remembered the word
That the Lord Jesus had said to him,
Before the cock crow twice
Thou shalt deny me thrice,'

It was all over in a moment. None but Simon Peter had noticed that look ; as with Judas, so with Peter, Jesus would not betray His own. The procession passed through the courtyard. Soon the Master was out of sight and Peter was alone ; alone in that throng of ribald men. He must get alone he must hide himself from every human eye. Why did not the earth gape open and swallow him ? It was no longer fear that possessed him ; it was love that had revived ; and with love sorrow unto death, and with sorrow yet more love' till Simon no longer cared who stood about him. He forced his way to the door ; even as he went the tears were brimming in his eyes and he could not stay them.

'He began to weep' ;

When he was at last alone he wept bitterly. Tradition tells us, but we scarcely need the witness of tradition, that from that day Simon Peter never ceased weeping for that deed, till the tears he shed wore lasting furrows on his face.

bron: CDIA